Category Archives: Ken’s Funnywrites

Prune Juice Issue 9

as I sit down she says we need to talk skipping the special I order a burger with nothing on it   security guard asks about my travel plans watching my face while the answer walks through an x-ray machine … Continue reading

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Prune Juice Issue 8

sitting at last in my new apartment I realize too late… no toilet paper   a frozen banana falls to the floor with a thud… only in my dreams could I get so hard   never too old to start … Continue reading

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Sneezing Haiku

Coughing all night couldn’t sleep; stumbled out of bed and wrote this down – after three coughs a horrible sneeze the red peony just between you and me I never saw a red peony; the idea came to mind when … Continue reading

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Satire Snippets

God grant me the serenity to accept nothing

The courage to complain about everything

And the wisdom to know that I am always right. Continue reading

Posted in Current Events, Ken's Funnywrites, Uncategorized | Tagged | 3 Comments

The Crash

There is a cat on the other side of this door. I cannot hear her, but I know she is there. It’s our new kitty, Mimi. Continue reading

Posted in Ken's Funnywrites, Pets - Other Animals | Tagged | 4 Comments

BiPartisan Pledge To America

In a rare show of bipartisan unity, leaders of the Democratic and Republican parties agreed to make the following pledge to the American people: Continue reading

Posted in Current Events, Ken's Funnywrites | 1 Comment

Tea Party Candidate Supports Farm Bill

Vicky Hartzler, the newly-elected representative from Missouri, has a problem. With Tea Party backing, she ran on a campaign of cutting government spending. According to the Environmental Working Group, she and her husband have received more than $770,000 in farm subsidies over the past 15 years. Continue reading

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Public Rejects Idea Of World Government

Recently, a reporter for the Financial Times received a lot of criticism for suggesting that some sort of world government is needed to really solve the problem of global climate change.  Funnywrite has commissioned one of its reporters to conduct … Continue reading

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Help Wanted

C++, Linux, TCP/IP, Java J2EE, Ethernet, sockets, socks, shoes, device drivers, compiler, assembly, HTTP, SSL, protocols like IM and P2P, routing,AS1, AS2,AS3, perl, awk, sed, grep, other scripting tools

If the above mumbo-jumbo means anything to you, you already know more about this job than we do. Please call – but don’t email – our server is down. Continue reading

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bin Laden Sends Cash to Afghanistan Government

Funnywrite has intercepted a top-secret message from Osama bin Laden to his followers: Continue reading

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